Procrastination

I have such a problem with Procrastination. I say I am going to do something, and I really mean it. I am going to do (fill in the blank). But I don't get around to it. Worse yet, if I commit to start a daily/regular task and then I procrastinate on starting the routine. Ugh!

So, I keep saying I am going to exercise regularly. And yes, it would be very good for me to do this task. Yet, I procrastinate. Why?

Possible Reasons:

• I'm busy: Yep. I am busy. But perhaps not so busy that I can't work in some kind of exercise.
  
• I'm not in shape: Yeah, that is true. But of course, if I exercised then I would increase my "in shape-ness" and that excuse would no longer exist.
• My house is hot: True. But I have fans, so I really could have enough air moving to make it okay.
• I'm tired: Yes, but I probably would gain energy from exercising. At least that is what other people tell me.
• I'm scared: True, now we are getting somewhere. I am scared. Scared of failure. Scared of injury. Scared of embarrassment. etc.
• my list could go on and on.

The truth is, I need to exercise and stop making excuses. Today, I started. I printed off a calender from Microsoft Outlook and took a page of home school reward stickers, and made myself an exercise chart. I then exercised for 15 minutes to a VHS workout tape. And I earned a sticker on today's date. YAY!

Some people would say that 15 minutes is not a true workout. But at my level, it is. I will need to increase my workout ability and endurance. But it is a start.

What are you procrastinating? What are you going to do about it?

Water

We live in a society that drinks everything except water. When I walk through the grocery store, I see fruit juice, vegetable juice, juice cocktail blends, juice boxes, juice pouches, flavor koolaid pouches, soda pop cans, soda pop bottles, soda pop 2 liters, soda pop 3 liters, beer, wine, wine coolers, coffee, tea, hot cocoa, iced tea, lemonade, koolaid mix, premade koolaid, etc. I could keep going. We are surrounded by water alternatives.

Also, we are told that our tap water is not good enough. Which truly, some towns that is true. But some places the water is just fine and delicious. For those who decide water is a good beverage, we have water choices too. Advertising for individual bottles, gallon jugs, 3 gallon jugs, 5 gallon jugs, mini kid-size bottles, bottles with twist off caps, bottles with sports caps, bottles with snap up lids, reusable bottles, self-filtering bottles, self-filtering pitchers, etc. Yikes! What an industry.

I even saw a kid size mini water bottle with a child proof cap. Guess what, the cap didn't come off. At all. Not a bit. They advertised that the bottle would be kid proof. Yep, it was. It was also a complete waste of money since it only held 8 oz and could not be refilled. What makes it worse, is that little bottle of water cost the same amount of money as a 2 liter bottle of soda pop. Ugh!

So, why water?

Well, there is something unique about water. It is refreshing. It is necessary to live. It replenishes our bodies. It is filling. And when not surrounded by other water alternatives, pure water can actually taste delicious.

In comparison to the water alternatives, water ends up tasting boring and bland. But even the best water alternative is found lacking on a hot summer day when you've been walking in the heat and sweating, that is when the refreshing taste of a nice cool glass of ice water is wholly satisfying.

Our bodies require water. We don't require tea or soda pop. Some of our bodies complain without our usual coffee, I understand. But all those beverages are body "wants" the only liquid "need" is water. And in my experience, if I am drinking all 8 cups of water, I find I have had enough beverage that I don't really need soda pop or lemonade, etc.

I still crave flavor. So I sometimes I try to convince myself that those other beverages contain water as an ingredient so they must be good enough or even better that just plain water. But in truth, I know I should be drinking pure water.

And I kid myself into not drinking enough water, by saying it would make me use the bathroom more. Blah, blah, blah. Well, it might make me use the bathroom. But guess what, that may be a whole lot more healthy for me. Ya know?

So, do we need water? Yes.
Can other beverages fill the need? Let's not lie to ourselves. No, not really.
How much pure water should I drink? As much as possible.

A simple tip: make it fun. Have a cool cup or fun straw. Store a pitcher in the fridge with pure water that is cool and ready to enjoy.

Another tip:
Since our bodies are made up of mostly water, and water is filling: if we start each meal with a glass of water, we can meet a basic life need and eat less food. Double bonus.

So I suggest we take a minute to get a fun glass from the cupboard, fill it with an ice cube or two and pour in some fresh water. Relax, take a breather, and enjoy the refreshing moment.

What's new

So today I watched the new show, Losing it with Jillian Michaels. WOW! I may already be addicted and it has only aired one episode. Clearly, I have issues.

So anyway, a couple things I picked up on while watching the first episode include: little issues never dealt with grow into HUGE issues, fixing the outside physical body doesn't fix the inside issues, and with the right kind of small healing whole body healing can come.

So, what does this mean for you and me?

In my mind, it means, "Oh crap, I have to deal with my issues!" I'm not too happy about that. I mean, I know we all have issues. And somehow I believe we are all supposed to be working on our issues. And it is definitely easier to say, "that person needs to deal with his/her issues." But, really, do I have to deal with my issues? Really? That is hard. Can't I just justify them and somehow blame others for my problems? I'm much more comfortable with that idea.

So, I not only need to eat healthier and sweat like crazy working out, I also need to go through an emotional and mental overhaul. I could say, fix the eating and exercise problems first, but that may not fix me in the long run. So, I need to get to the heart of the issue. I need to face reality.

Why am I unhealthy? And what am I going to do about it?

Those are tough questions. But I guess if I really hate being unhealthy and if I really want life change, I better get answering.

Someone once said, something to the effect of, insanity is when you keep doing what you did and expect different results.

Another someone, somewhere long ago, told me about a mama eagle. She builds her nest with briers and sticks, but then fills it with soft fluff. When the eggs are whole, they are kept warm in the fluff. They are cushioned soft and comfy. When the eggs hatch and babies emerge, the warmth and comfort are still necessary. But eventually the tiny eagles are ready to learn to fly, but the nest is so comfy they don't want to leave. They don't want the challenge. They don't want anything different than the false bliss they already feel. So the Mama Eagle takes out the fluff, She pecks away so much fluff that finally the tiny eagles are only surrounded by prickly briers and sticks. They endure enough discomfort and enough pain, that they finally decide it is time for change. And they learn to fly. They soar.

Can you imagine a life of health? Can you picture what that would mean for you? I picture clothes shopping based on style rather than size. I picture going up a flight of stairs and not being winded, but rather being able to carry on a normal conversation. I imagine being comfortable sitting in theater seats, walking in between church pews, walking in a crowded hallway, and not feeling squished. Or going on a family hike or bike ride all afternoon and not being exhausted.

Is it worth it? Is your picture of health worth the sacrifices and hard work it will take to achieve your dream? Mine are. I hope I can remember that when the going gets tough.

The Journey Continues

This past few weeks I have been contemplating the cause of my unhealthy state. Most of us are not born unhealthy, we became unhealthy by choices we make or choices made for us. So, eventually we must ask, what happened?

In my case, I was quite healthy as a young child, but something changed during my 9th and 10th years. I cannot pinpoint exactly the cause. For years I blamed one incident of sexual abuse, as the culprit. But recently, I have realized that is not true. It was easy to blame that trauma for everything that went wrong in my life, but the truth is many factors lead to this situation.

One factor, for me personally, has been all the things people said to me that hurt. I realized food is a comfort, so when people hurt me, instead of confronting them, letting it go, or forgiving them, I internalized it and allowed it to hurt me, really hurt me deeply.

People can be so mean, and we all need to deal with it. I dealt with it by comforting myself with food. Now, I need to choose a better solution. (In truth, I'm not sure what that is yet.)

How do you handle your hurts?

Obstacle - Time

I do not have enough hours in the day. And what makes it worse, is that my physical unhealth, makes the hours I do have not effective. I can be busy for an hour doing physical tasks like laundry, dishes, sweeping, etc. But then I have to sit and rest, cause my body is exhausted. So how can I change the situation?

My time is divided between:

• God Time (Church activities, Bible Study activities, doing Bible study homework, etc.)
• Kid Time (Home school activities, feeding, tending, teaching, disciplining, etc.)
• Spouse Time (talking, making decisions, trying to have a date now and then, etc.)
• Household Manager Time (cooking, cleaning, organizing, picking up, running errands, etc.)
• Self Time (Blogging, Facebook, sewing, maybe reading, a bit of Relaxation)
  
• General Care Time (sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom, etc.)
• Misc. Time (driving to and fro, waiting for others, etc.)

Okay, so I already have plenty to keep me busy. And I am sure healthy people have the same or similar time obligations. So, how does a person make time for exercise?

I have heard that once a person is healthy, he/she has more energy and can be more efficient with time usage. I have been told that if health and exercise is a priority then it will replace certain areas and become a new hobby. That would be great, except I can't see where it would fit, unless I give up what relaxation I do have (but can I do that? ugh!)

So I am struggling: where can I find the time to exercise? Or am I really struggling with fear of making life changes and time is a convenient excuse?

What works for you?

Is it Possible?

Today, I watched an episode of the Biggest Loser and they were talking about pushing limits, breaking barriers, and doing what you think is impossible. They also talked about weight loss being a huge mental battle, that even if the weight comes off, a person who is not healed mentally and emotionally will just put the weight back on. And they talked about putting yourself first.

So I am debating:

• Is it selfish to make time to exercise?
• Is it selfish to make sure to eat the right things?
• What caused my unhealthy lifestyle? And can I fix it?
• What are my limits? Do I have what it takes to break them and push myself?

I am realizing:

• It effects my whole family that I am unhealthy. It will help the whole family if I can make the right changes to improve. That is not selfish.
• I am an example. Will I be a good example of healthy eating and fitness? Or a bad example of poor choices? I know what I want.
• So what is keeping me from taking action?

What keeps you from taking action?

• Is it fear? Fear of failure. Fear of others and what they may say. Fear of not fitting in with the crowd. Fear of being proven wrong and admitting past mistakes.
• Is it shame? Shame for all the poor choices. Shame for not wanting the situation to get this bad. Shame that it is such a struggle to fight temptation and force yourself to work hard.
• Is it lack of self-worth? Belief that maybe you and I shouldn't have good health. Belief that healthy people are speaking lies or deluding themselves. Belief that since all this other bad stuff has happened, life can't be changed.
• Is it laziness? Giving in to temptation. Giving into the ease of sitting around doing very little. It is hard. It hurts. Expecting life to improve on it's own without your effort or involvement.
• Is it excuses? Maybe God planned my life to be this way. Maybe I'm supposed to be unhealthy for some divine purpose. It is my parent's fault for teaching me bad habits and not motivating me. It must be my husband and kids, if they did like I asked, then my life wouldn't be so stressful. If life worked the way it was supposed to, then I wouldn't be this way.
• Or maybe it is something else.

I continue to struggle. I struggle with food cravings. I struggle with motivation and overcoming obstacles. I struggle with people (what they might think, what food they put in front of me, and what they say that is hurtful.) Life is hard and this doesn't seem like the right time for this journey. But, I can't put it off any longer. I need to fix my life, improve it, and share what I've learned.

I want:

• to become a health nut (even though I have been internally judged them. I need to become like them.)
• to overcome obstacles. I need to prove it to myself. I can succeed.
• to be a good example and live life to the best of my ability.
• to be proud of myself and my accomplishments.
• to make my dreams come true.
  

Cost versus Health

For years, I have believed the lie that to eat healthy costs more money. And in some cases that is true. However, certain healthy items are extremely inexpensive. So what is the excuse? Then we say, "Oh, that tastes gross" Well, it might if we don't know how to prepare it.

Recently, I have been trying to buy healthy foods for little cost, the ideal shopping experience. Here are some meals I have been able to make healthy and cheap:

• Tacos
• Chili
• Pizza or Stromboli
  
• Japanese Curry and Rice
• Chinese Stir Fry
• Peppers and Eggs
• Poor Man's Meal
• etc. The list is growing more all the time.

Recently, I have also been focusing on healthy snacks that are cheap. Here are some of our favorites:

• apples
• oranges
• grapes
• baby carrots
• bananas
• peanuts
• popcorn (whole kernel not pre-bagged)
• yogurt
• fruit smoothies
• sorbet
• sliced cucumbers
• sliced green peppers
• etc.

I have found that when I shop the circle around the grocery store (produce, meat dept., dairy dept, fresh bakery dept.) and a few select aisles (beans, rice, frozen veggies, etc.) I can find whole, fresh foods, that are healthy and cheap.

A few things I am learning:

• break apart the favorite recipes and substitute whole foods (i.e. instead of refried beans from a can, I use whole pinto or whole black beans, ideally from a bag of dried beans.)
• Plan ahead: if I shop the sales and them plan out my meal options, I know what to look forward to making and how much to make.
• Make the most of freezer space: If I soak beans for tacos, I can make 5 taco meals in one day. Package the taco mix and freeze it.
• Whole foods not only taste better (more gourmet) but they also stay fresh longer and are more filling (I used to go up for seconds at every meal, with whole foods I am shocked how full I am after one plate)
• Rice and beans are extremely cheap and very healthy, add veggies and "voila", a balanced menu

So I am learning that cost is a variable that we must consider, but sometimes we don't have to sacrifice the health. (As far as tasting good, I hope to post some recipes that will help overcome that fear.)

Enjoy Health!

New Facebook Group

Hello, Friends,

I am writing this post to invite you to join a new Facebook group dedicated to saying "NO!" 2 Unhealthy. I have found it hard to work towards my health goals with all of the "life" going on around me. I know one person said her most important tool was accountability, and for that I need a team of friends willing to help each other succeed.

I happen to be a fan of "The Biggest Loser" TV show. I have found myself drawn to this show for many reasons, but that could be another post entirely. The reason I bring the show up now is that I have noticed one of the strategies of the show is the team element. True, they still compete team versus team. But when the contestants are truly struggling in those first weeks, the element of teamwork and support are key to success.

So, I am asking for your help and offering my own. We can help keep each other accountable, we can post success stories, we can talk about challenges, and cheer each other towards our goals. The group is private, so no one can join without permission and no one outside our group will see what we post. I am hoping for great success in our group.

I hope to see you there. (FYI- the group will not replace this blog, only augment what I am posting here.)

Best wishes,

Addictions and Labels

Is Obesity an Addiction? Is Obesity a Label?

Hmmm . . . I'm not sure. In my experience, the things that lead to my obesity have been addictive. The wrong kinds of food, the lack/fear of exercise, the emotional solution to eat rather than deal with problems, etc. But is it my label?

I certainly hope not. I hope that I am more than just a Fat Person. Because aren't we all more than just one characteristic? Don't we all have many characteristics that define us and the certain group of characteristics that define each person is different from the next. Isn't that what makes us have certain things in common while we also have differences that make us unique?

Okay, so if one of my characteristics is that I am obese from years of poor eating habits, poor exercise habits, etc. Then my other characteristics might include: musical, dramatic, fiction addict, etc. Why do I let one characteristic speak louder than the others?

Or is it that I feel others are saying I'm fat and rather than let them hurt me, I just admit it and defuse the pain? Does that make sense? Do you find yourself doing that?

The truth is, I don't want to be obese or unhealthy, but the factors that led to these life circumstances are still present in my life and I have not yet found the power to combat them.

The truth is, I am much more than just a fat person, but unless someone can look beyond the body image, they will not see the other great characteristics.

Thankfully, God sees the truth: Isaiah 55:1-2 "Come, all who are thirsty, come to the waters . . . Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself."

Today, may we cast off the false labels, rid ourselves of our unhealthy addictions, and bask in the love of our Lord!

Diabetes

Well, with the possibility that I have diabetes and the fact that I don't have health insurance, I have been searching for alternate techniques of treatment. I did a number of online searches about diabetes and have discovered a few key things.

• Diabetes is very much dependent upon lifestyle choices.
• With healthy eating, regular exercise, and other healthy living habits, diabetes can be controlled and even reversed.
• Cinnamon is a natural item that acts in the body like insulin.
• Cayenne Fruit/Pepper can also help Diabetes (though I need to be careful with it since I also have GERD.)
• I will still need to be tested and have regular Dr. appointments.
• But I am learning as much as I can about what I can do to reverse this condition.

My trouble currently is: I have been trying to lose weight and become healthy for months actually years. So I am very concerned that I will not be able to make changes to my life to reverse this disease for the very same reasons I have been unable to lose weight in the past. But, maybe I am just being fearful. I guess time will tell.

Recent Healthy Activities

Well, I am sorry I haven't posted in a while. It has been to long.

My journey towards healthy is taking crazy twists and turns. We have discovered that Gluten free living is not working for our family. For one thing, it is expensive. But also, we have not been able to get away from gluten, it seems to be everywhere. Even foods that are supposed to be gluten free have thickener or some additive that has gluten. So unless the label says "gluten free" it is very likely to contain some gluten. And once the label says "gluten free" the price goes up high, unless you can live off of Chex cereal. Good luck to people making gluten free work, I am certainly proud of you!

Actually, another factor went into us giving up on gluten free living. There is a possibility that I have Diabetes type 2. Now in all truth, living gluten free may help in a diabetes menu, since everything is made fresh and has less additives, etc. But, at this time, we need to focus on getting my healthy situation understood and work toward pure healthy living.

So, I am searching for exercise activities that work for our family (cheap, effective, kid friendly, and fun, etc.) I am also looking forward to spring and summer with produce costs going down and perhaps growing a garden. I continue to research natural healing resources and true health, including healthy foods and activities, etc.

I will continue to post things as I come across them and as I continue on this journey. If you have any questions or blog topic suggestions, I would be happy to oblige. Have a great day!

Addictions

We know there are real addictions that exist throughout the world. People can rally around the addiction to alcohol and recognize how it effects the addict and his/her family members. People openly say cigarettes and tobacco are addictive and hazardous to health. And the world recognizes that second hand smoke is unhealthy too, which means everyone in a breathing radius of a smoking person is being effected by the addiction. What about other addictions? Is there such a thing as a food addiction? I believe there is. I believe a person can become emotionally dependant on the comfort of food.

So the problem becomes, how to break the addiction in order to live a healthy life? A person addicted to alcohol needs to stop drinking alcoholic beverages. He/she still drinks water, milk, juice, etc. Just not alcohol.

A person addicted to tobacco needs to stop smoking or chewing tobacco. He/she may chew gum or wear a medicated patch to help replace the addiction. But the main concept holds true, he/she must stop doing the addictive behavior.

So what does a food addict stop? We must continue eating in order to live. Right? The answer, I'm told, is to find healthy substitutes. So really a person must give up junk food and only eat healthy food for the rest of his/her life. And just like other addictions, it is easier said than done.

Here is my issue, not only does the addict need to stop the cravings and bad habits, not only does he/she need to find the cause of the addiction and resolve what led to the addiction in the first place, the addict must also deal with other people and their opinions and behaviors towards the addiction.

Society and the people around us understand how a recovering alcoholic must stay away from alcoholic beverages and bend over backwards to help on that journey. A host who normally chooses to drink responsibly will go to the trouble of removing all alcohol from the premises prior to inviting a recovering alcoholic over to visit. Thank you! That is called being kind, courteous and compassionate.

Smoking has been recognized by the government as being so unhealthy it is banned from public places. Thank you! A recovering smoker can walk freely into public places without being terrorized by temptation.

Yet, when faced with a junk food addiction, what do people do? They criticize. They tempt. They offer no alternatives or understanding. Food is everywhere (churches, stores, restaurants, friends house, theater, sports events, etc.) Now if it were fruit and veggie platters, I wouldn't mind one bit. YAY! I love food. And if someone wants to provide Subway sandwiches without the dressings, etc. YAY! You have my blessing to do that. Unfortunately, most of the food placed before me is bad for me. And I'll add, it is bad for everyone else too.

Who says there must be a dessert table at every potluck? Who decides that all the food at the main table will be caked with grease and cheese? Why do people think if you put iceberg lettuce in a bowl and have a thick mayonnaise sauce next to it, you can call it a salad? And does that salad amount to all the health offered at the event? Ugh!

I submit to you that a junk food addict, and most of the people could fall into this category, needs to give up all junk food forever and be supported by those around him/her to not be tempted.

I recognize this is hard for a few reasons:
1. most people don't really know what health food is. So let me make it easy, if it is a raw fruit or vegetable with bright and vibrant color, you are safe. If you want added flavor, put the sauce on the side. Please do not add butter or cheese or salt, etc.

2. most people don't want to be confronted with the fact that they are unhealthy and could be considered a junk food addict too. Okay, I sympathize. And yet, wouldn't it be heavenly to be able to go to a church potluck and only have healthy foods on the table? Wheat pasta with homemade spaghetti sauce. Fresh homemade soup with real meat and fresh veggies. Sandwiches with no salt lean meat and fresh cut veggies topped with a light vinaigrette. Yum! Honestly, when people bring fresh fruits and veggies to a potluck, those items are the first to be eaten. It tastes good and it is a no-guilt food. Mothers will crowd around a veggie tray trying to find something their child will eat, because we know it is healthy. Why not make everything healthy?

3. most people enjoy junk food and want the freedom to eat as they please. Okay, I get it. No one wants to be told that what they choose is wrong. But please do not subject me to your justification. I don't want to be told that I am wrong to give up junk food, when we all know it is the right choice. I don't want to be told "oh, it won't hurt to have one piece of cake. it is a birthday party." Well, some people drink and smoke at parties, do we tell the other addicts to cheat too. If so, I am so sorry for them, cause it is wrong.

And eating out, ugh! I would welcome going to a fast food restaurant and seeing truly healthy items on the menu. I would welcome Subway to have a drive through line or a family playground inside. If McD's can have a playground, why not Subway? I would love if the food offered at Panera Bread was more family friendly and more accessible.

If only our churches, families and friends could realize how much food is an addiction and make efforts to help us all. Our country is struggling with issues that we caused ourselves. Now we, as a people, must fix the problems and help each other through the consequences.

Temptation

My biggest temptation is Fun Food at the end of a long day. Each day I care for my three kids, my husband, my home and anything else that needs attention. At the end of the day I look forward to my time. I like to watch a show and eat fun food.

As I am on this journey toward healthy, I find that I can make wise choices in the morning and even into the afternoon. But when the sky is dark, my kids are in bed, and I'm ready to relax . . . that is when the cravings and desires kick into high gear.

Where is the chocolate? Where are the chips? I need my cold soda pop, salty snack and sweet dessert. I sit in front of my DVD player with my show and food . . . I'm ready for "ME" time.

Old habits, Die hard. I like my routine. It feels good. It tastes good.

Now, the wise decisions. The old routine led to an unhealthy body. And if I keep doing what I have been doing, I will keep living as I have lived and continue being as unhealthy as I am.

So, my plan of action includes limiting the Fun Foods in my home. No more chips. No more chocolate. Very little soda pop. More tea and water. More fresh fruit and vegetables. More willingness to change my routine in order to change my life!