Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Journey Continues

This past few weeks I have been contemplating the cause of my unhealthy state. Most of us are not born unhealthy, we became unhealthy by choices we make or choices made for us. So, eventually we must ask, what happened?

In my case, I was quite healthy as a young child, but something changed during my 9th and 10th years. I cannot pinpoint exactly the cause. For years I blamed one incident of sexual abuse, as the culprit. But recently, I have realized that is not true. It was easy to blame that trauma for everything that went wrong in my life, but the truth is many factors lead to this situation.

One factor, for me personally, has been all the things people said to me that hurt. I realized food is a comfort, so when people hurt me, instead of confronting them, letting it go, or forgiving them, I internalized it and allowed it to hurt me, really hurt me deeply.

People can be so mean, and we all need to deal with it. I dealt with it by comforting myself with food. Now, I need to choose a better solution. (In truth, I'm not sure what that is yet.)

How do you handle your hurts?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Biggest Loser Thoughts

It is Tuesday, for me that is Biggest Loser Day. I don't watch many reality shows. Now don't get me wrong, I watch plenty of shows, just not reality shows. But a few seasons ago, I got hooked to Biggest Loser, and I really enjoy it.

Some things I like about the show include:
Of the other reality show episodes I have viewed (which I admit are few) I have watched a lot of game playing. People seem willing to do just about anything for money. Thankfully, Biggest Loser contestants seem willing to help each other and encourage one another rather than play the game. (Not all the contestants, but most)

Also, this show has a real purpose. It isn't lust or greed, but health. And the trainers give real advice, the guests help encourage and give helpful tips toward accomplishing these health goals and staying healthy after the show is done.

The producers/creators seem to really care about the contestants and their health. I have watched as they brought previous contestants back onto the show in an effort to continue helping them. The challenges are hard, but they are ultimately trying to help the health journey.

And I could continue giving reasons for why I watch this show and why I find it motivational. But the gist of it is, I like it and I empathize.

So, something I notice each season is this unhealthy trend: (Let me know if you can empathize with this)

The first episode airs and I totally empathize. I see what contestants are similar size to myself. I see the videos of them eating or trying on clothes, or trying to fit into a chair or car, etc. I totally know what it feels like because it is the life I live each day. And I get motivated, I think to myself, "If they are going to do this, I'm doing it with them." And for a few weeks, I am totally with them. I don't exercise quite as much, and I don't have the benefit of Bob or Jillian, the Biggest Loser Kitchen or the 24 hrs Fitness Gymn, or the life without distractions, but "so what, if they can do it, I can do it." Right?

Then, at some point during the season, as I am cheering them on, and being hopeful about my own weight loss journey, at some point I become a viewer. No longer am I thinking, "I can do it." I'm thinking, "YAY! Go for it, They can do it." Why did I switch from I to They?

Okay, so in the back of my brain, I am still hoping I can do it too. But I certainly won't be succeeding as fast as they are. I certainly won't be near my goal weight by the time the finale airs. What happened?

Well, life happened. I was distracted. I didn't work hard enough. I didn't put 100% effort into it. I didn't have the challenges and the competition. I didn't see that yellow line looming each week or the fear of being sent home prematurely. So, I lived my life, trying to make small adjustments in a positive direction.

Yes, I will make it. But it will not be before this season is done. In fact, it may take a few more full seasons before I reach my goal. But I will continue on my journey.

And as I continue at an at-home pace, I enjoy watching them lose massive amounts of weight each week, succeed in extreme challenges, and give me tips and motivation along the way.

Anybody relate?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Obstacle - Time

I do not have enough hours in the day. And what makes it worse, is that my physical unhealth, makes the hours I do have not effective. I can be busy for an hour doing physical tasks like laundry, dishes, sweeping, etc. But then I have to sit and rest, cause my body is exhausted. So how can I change the situation?

My time is divided between:
  • God Time (Church activities, Bible Study activities, doing Bible study homework, etc.)
  • Kid Time (Home school activities, feeding, tending, teaching, disciplining, etc.)
  • Spouse Time (talking, making decisions, trying to have a date now and then, etc.)
  • Household Manager Time (cooking, cleaning, organizing, picking up, running errands, etc.)
  • Self Time (Blogging, Facebook, sewing, maybe reading, a bit of Relaxation)
  • General Care Time (sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom, etc.)
  • Misc. Time (driving to and fro, waiting for others, etc.)

Okay, so I already have plenty to keep me busy. And I am sure healthy people have the same or similar time obligations. So, how does a person make time for exercise?

I have heard that once a person is healthy, he/she has more energy and can be more efficient with time usage. I have been told that if health and exercise is a priority then it will replace certain areas and become a new hobby. That would be great, except I can't see where it would fit, unless I give up what relaxation I do have (but can I do that? ugh!)

So I am struggling: where can I find the time to exercise? Or am I really struggling with fear of making life changes and time is a convenient excuse?

What works for you?