This past few weeks I have been contemplating the cause of my unhealthy state. Most of us are not born unhealthy, we became unhealthy by choices we make or choices made for us. So, eventually we must ask, what happened?
In my case, I was quite healthy as a young child, but something changed during my 9th and 10th years. I cannot pinpoint exactly the cause. For years I blamed one incident of sexual abuse, as the culprit. But recently, I have realized that is not true. It was easy to blame that trauma for everything that went wrong in my life, but the truth is many factors lead to this situation.
One factor, for me personally, has been all the things people said to me that hurt. I realized food is a comfort, so when people hurt me, instead of confronting them, letting it go, or forgiving them, I internalized it and allowed it to hurt me, really hurt me deeply.
People can be so mean, and we all need to deal with it. I dealt with it by comforting myself with food. Now, I need to choose a better solution. (In truth, I'm not sure what that is yet.)
How do you handle your hurts?
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Hello, friend! I have also used food as a way to deal - or not deal as the case may be. And I tend to just shut down and turn into a lump on the couch with a book or the TV to distract me.
ReplyDeleteI'm working on getting better about not walking directly to the pantry and getting UP OFF MY BUTT and doing something. Which I guess means I need to go fold some wash while the Little Miss sleeps! No more computer for me!!
So proud of you for all your hard work on the health front. You are one amazing lady! Love you!